Pre-Op appt jitters

So, I admit it. I'm getting a little nervous.

I'm sort of a control freak and the idea that I wont have any control over a) the pain b) how long the pain or inability to move goes on c) bathing my own body for a few days d) my house still functioning while I'm "out of it" is making me panic.

I found myself snapping at my husband over and over yesterday and every time I see anything that reminds me of my grandmother (who died last July after having surgery) I start crying.

I stayed in the tub for two hours last night. I kept grabbing that weird flap of tummy skin and thinking, wow, how many times have I said "if I could just cut this off I would!" And now, only 5 days from surgery, I'm looking at my body and thinking... what will I look like?

What if I don't look how I want? What happens if I still have that weird top pooch (aka muffin top) up there and the bottom one is gone? What happens if it still takes be a bazillion years to lose weight (part of why I decided to get the tuck in the first place!)

I'm also nervous because my surgeon doesn't do lipo on any area, except where the scar on the hip stops so there's not a weird pocket of fat there. Which means, no flanks, no upper tummy, nothing. Scary.

How will I look? Will I still be the same me? What happens if I'm in pain for WEEKS?

I guess it is normal to have these jitters, but I think sharing them with you, so you don't think you're INSANE when you start to the feel the same way, might help.

I'm about to load in the car and head to the Pre-Op appointment. I'll debrief when I get home.